That's Strudel at my feet. He's not really my cat, but "Chubby Spinster with a Pet" is not nearly as good, somehow, so I took a liberty.
I enjoy the word spinster in part because it's oddly provocative. Its existence suggests the idea that it's bad for a woman not to be married, a stigma that has never hung itself on the word bachelor, which is why we have the horrible neologism bachelorette. But if we're going to gender words, I don't see why the woman's word should be the man's word plus a flirty little ending; and if we're going to throw out spinster as a symbol of the old notion that an unmarried woman has a wretched life, then we should throw out bachelor as a symbol of the old notion of the rake who has no interest in settling down because marriage is a trap laid by women. Right? Those are equally outdated ideas, but the feminine word is the only one that's been scrapped, because the idea is that now women want to be the rake too. We're all supposed to want to be the rake. But I don't, really. I would like to find someone to spend my life with, and marry him. One day I imagine this will happen; until then I am a spinster. I spin stories with lobotomy in them.