The Sorrows of Young Werewolf (eyeteeth) wrote,
The Sorrows of Young Werewolf

If dysthymia could type it would send messages like this

Online dating sites are just as I remember them from the last time I tried. I write messages to interesting-sounding people and get no response. I do get instant messages from others, though. The instant messages always begin like this:

To which my reaction is, Seriously? That's the best you've got? You are here to procure either love or sex or, which is less likely, friendship, but in any case one or more of the most important things in life, and you have at your disposal the largest vocabulary that has ever existed in any language in human history, and your opening salvo is that limp dick of a word? Shakespeare wrote in this language; Milton wrote in this language; can you at least hit the shift key to get a capital letter?

But I should be fair; on occasion the instant message begins like this:

and progresses from there to
how r u

So I get the feeling this isn't going to work out for me. Because I had more interesting conversations with my cat, when she was alive. I could probably have a more interesting conversation with her now.
Tags: attica, bitter copy editor, tinyfists
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