Now, he and I were both quite drunk, but he was drunker, and he had taken a sleeping pill, and probably I could have sawed off his leg and he would barely have noticed, and it would have been wrong to take advantage of him sexually in that situation. It would have been OK to cuddle with him, though. I do enjoy doing that.
I got back at him for my cowardice by making him into Stewart, the lovelorn idiot in my novel.