I've learned that if you ask Google Image Search about Legolas it will give you lots of pictures of Orlando Bloom (expected) and also lots of slashy fanart of Legolas getting freaky with Aragorn (not expected but not surprising, either). Why that particular pairing, Tolkien perverts? It's because Gimli's the obvious choice but Gimli's a dwarf so that wouldn't be sexy, right? It's just weird that of all the guys in the Fellowship, the Tolkien perverts pair Legolas up with the only one who has so far shown any heterosexual inclination whatever. Granted, by "heterosexual inclination" I mean "he stood next to Arwen for a couple of minutes," but that's a big deal by the standards of this book. Or is that the point? The gorgeous elvish maiden is just a beard, Strider's really cruising the other side of the Great East Road, if you catch my drift?
Hive mind, I could use your help. And I don't mean please kill me for the greater good before I make more dumb Tolkien jokes. It's about Doctor Three. He hasn't written me back, and it's been a couple of months. The last thing I sent him was a question about Jack El-Hai's biography of his father -- he'd said he thought it was the best one, but I wanted to know did he think it was really objective or were there points where El-Hai's fascination with his subject made him gloss over stuff? Maybe he hasn't written back because that's not an interesting question, or he thought it wasn't appropriate, or it could have nothing to do with me -- he's really busy figuring out the whole human brain, after all. But I'm terrified about contacting him again, basically for fear that he'll tell me I'm not worth his time.
My very smart friend tinymammoth recommends that I write again to ask if I can send him a whole bunch of questions and he can just pick the ones he finds interesting. (He said earlier that he'd answer my questions "if they interest" him.) I think that's a good idea. What I want your help with is phrasing my request. A few of you are in academia yourself and know good ways to word stuff like this. And more of you are just better at formal correspondence than I am, I bet -- I almost never have to do it, on account of not having a real job. How would you say, "Dear Doctor Three I know you're busy but can I send you an assload of questions please please please?"