It's at around this time of year that the kosher aisle at my nearby Jewpermarket looks as if locusts had descended upon it. Nothing's left but a few boxes of "everything" matzo crackers and some ground almonds. I think it's ground almonds that give the particular genus of Passover cake pictured in today's comic the density of a collapsed star. I should mention that I actually like Passover desserts, especially macaroons. Macaroons are awesome and it was only through a tremendous exercise of willpower that I did not buy a ninety-nine-cent container of them yesterday, because I could predict with terrible clarity that if I did buy the ninety-nine-cent container of macaroons I would eat them all within twenty-four hours and that would be less than ideal.
Passover is my favorite Jewish holiday, even though it deprives me of bread and beer for eight days, which is saying something. One of the things I like about it is that we are supposed to talk about the liberation from Egypt as if we had been there personally. I like this because of the sense of continuity it imparts, and because it reminds me that I am part of something larger than my own life, and because it is a reminder that one can always become a little freer -- from bad relationships or bad ways of thinking or addictions or what have you. The work of liberation never stops. I admit that I also like this because it reminds me of Count Dracula:
I have had a long talk with the Count. I asked him a few questions on Transylvania history, and he warmed up to the subject wonderfully. In his speaking of things and people, and especially of battles, he spoke as if he had been present at them all. This he afterwards explained by saying that to a Boyar the pride of his house and name is his own pride, that their glory is his glory, that their fate is his fate. Whenever he spoke of his house he always said "we," and spoke almost in the plural, like a king speaking.
Or like a Jew! He's got the right nose for it, too. But vampires for obvious reasons cannot keep kosher. They also cannot eat tasty macaroons and this is what makes them so miserable and cruel to others.