I'm going to leave my profile up for a while, though, in case anyone responds to my messages. And again, I know no one will, but I have to act as if it's possible, right? Right??? That's how, by some psychological alchemy, it becomes possible. Also, don't slouch. And would it kill you to smile?
So, JDate, probably. HowAboutWe, which purports to actually get one out of the house. Not Tinder, because I'm not on Facebook. Not eHarmony, which I've tried and which kept matching me up with sad-sounding divorced dudes with kids. (Almost always two kids. People get divorced after the second kid, I guess. If you want to stay married, stop at one.) Maybe Plenty of Fish? Maybe Match.com?