I thought of drawing a stix in which I explain Chanukkah to Jonah, because the victory of the Maccabees over the Greeks and Syrians happened a mere two thousand years ago, hundreds of years after his time. Judaism's really old! But instead I decided to draw this, a fairly accurate representation of my family's menorah, which I have stolen from my parents. It's a particularly powerful menorah because it has another, tiny menorah inside it, as you can see.
The story of Judith is often shoehorned into the story of Chanukkah, though her victory was part of a totally different war at a totally different time. But it's a story about a Jewish woman -- whose name might just mean "Jewish woman" -- who defeats a much stronger enemy with her yiddishe kop, so the two stories are linked by the general idea of the Jewish people overcoming impossible odds through cunning (and fighting dirty). Judith was a widow who saved her besieged town by visiting the tent of the Assyrian general Holofernes, saying she wished to surrender, and then getting him so horny and consequently so drunk that he passed out and she beheaded him. (In the Bible playing cards we had when I was a kid, Judith was the queen of spades, matter-of-factly holding the anguished-looking head aloft.) I think Jonah would particularly enjoy this aspect of the Chanukkah story. I certainly do. I like to think that Judith and Holofernes are the woman and man singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside."